Man’s Search For Meaning

Concentration Camp

This is the inside story of a concentration camp, as told by one of its survivors. It is not concerned with the great horrors which have already been covered in many

other such books, but with the relatively smaller torments.

Thus it tries to answer the question: how was everyday life in a concentration camp reflected in the mind of the average prisoner?

This book is not about the suffering and death of great heroes and martyrs; it is about the sacrifices, suffering, and deaths of the unknown and unrecorded victims of this most painful period.

• Life in a concentration camp was an unrelenting struggle for both daily bread and life itself, whether one’s own or that of a good friend. The selection process, for instance, of the next batch of victims for the infamous gas chambers and/or crematoria would often touch off a free fight between individuals or groups,who would fight to be left behind and not be included in the groups sent to the gas chambers and ovens.

• Every man was controlled by one thought only: one of self-preservation.He sought to keep himself alive for his family’s sake, and try to save his friends as well from suffering and death.

• On the average, only those prisoners who, after years of being assigned from camp to camp, had lost their scruples and had thus done whatever they could to survive, could keep alive. They had lost their inner moral compass and would either cozy up to those in power, or would trade in even their closest friends, if it meant increasing their chances of survival in those places.

• For those who had given up faith in their strength to carry on and/or in the chance that they would be liberated and would be able to return to their old lives and loved ones again, the will to live seldom returned and they were either simply wasted away, gave up living, or became susceptible to fatal diseases.

• Three phases of an inmate’s reactions to camp life became evident in those concentration camps:

1. The period following his admission to the camps, characterized by shock, longing for those he left behind, and disgust for all the ugliness, suffering and pain that surrounds him.
2. The period during which he becomes entrenched in camp routine, characterized by a state of relative apathy in which he achieves a kind of emotional death due to having seen so many horrible scenes that he gets used to them. This is a very necessary protective shell to prevent emotional overload. (But it can be overcome still, as will be discussed in a succeeding section).
3. The period following his release and liberation, characterized by an initial period of depersonalization (stemming from subconscious disbelief) and sometimes followed by a moral deformity stemming from a sudden release of pressure – and sometimes bitterness and disillusionment with his new life outside of the camps (caused by a disconnect between what was expected from the return and its sad reality).

• In a prison camp one learns one of the most imperative laws of self-preservation: do not be conspicuous! Stand out from the rest and you could very well suffer the attentions

of the supervisors. And that would almost always lead to more suffering – or death.

• The soul can make use of various weapons in its fight for self-preservation:

The use of comforting or soothing images of the past

The appreciation of beautiful images of nature

The use of humor to try to make light of the situation

• One discovers that, despite all the pains one has to go through, the salvation of man is through love and in love. The image of a loved one, of one’s old occupation, or one’s old home can easily sustain one and inspire one to get through even the most painful times and situations.

• At times, prisoners had to make decisions on the spot, decisions that may spell the difference between life and death. But those that did make good decisions were few and far between. The prisoners typically yearned to escape from commitment and often wished to let fate make these decisions for them.

• Those involved in camp life may end up exhibiting certain mental complexes – an inferiority complex for the prisoners as they are constantly being denigrated by their overseers, and a superiority complex for the guards and overseers for their capacity to inflict pain and suffering freely upon the prisoners.

• Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances – to choose one’s way. The way suffering can be borne isa genuine inner achievement, and this makes life meaningful and purposeful.

• The prisoner who lost faith in the future is doomed, plain and simple. His loss of belief in the future leads to a loss of his spiritual hold upon his life; consequently, he becomes subject to mental and physical decay, and his life falls apart as a result.

• If there is meaning in life, there must therefore also be meaning in suffering. The way a man accepts his fate and all his suffering gives him ample opportunity to add

a deeper meaning to his life. Far too often, people facing terribly tough situations end up despising their lives and thus their lives simply become meaningless – to both them and to everyone else. The better way is to find meaning in what you are going through and provide a salutary example for everyone, even those who do not know you.

• It does not really matter what one expects from life; what matters far more is what life expects from us. One needs to stop asking about the meaning of life, and should instead conceive of oneself as being questioned by life instead – what do I want to achieve and how do I want to achieve it?

• And one’s answer should consist in right action towards attaining one’s goals and in right conduct to moderate those actions.

• Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to problems and to fulfill the tasks it sets for each individual. We have the freedom to do whatever we want to do, but in order to use what we have in the best possible way, we must find the one right answer to every problem.

• When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he has to accept his suffering as his single and unique task. He must acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is alone and unique in the entire universe. His unique opportunity lies in the way he bears his burden.

• There was no need for any man in the concentration camps to be ashamed of tears. Tears bore witness to the greatest courage – no less than the courage to suffer openly, without fear of shame or censure.

Logotherapy

Logos is the Greek word for meaning. Logotherapy focuses on the meaning of human existence as well as on man’s search for such a meaning. This striving to find meaning in one’s life is, as has been brought up and discussed earlier, no less than the primary motivational force in man. In stark contrast with psychoanalysis, logotherapy is less retrospective and less introspective. It is a meaning-centered psychotherapy, focusing as it does on the meanings to be fulfilled by the patient in his future.

The will to meaning

Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life; it is not merely a “secondary rationalization” of instinctual drives. This meaning can be discovered, fulfilled, and realized by him and him alone –only then will it be significant enough to satisfy one man’s own will to meaning.

Existential frustration

Man’s will to meaning can also be frustrated, which is where existential frustration comes in. It can result in neuroses, which in this sense are referred to as noogenic neuroses in contrast to the more traditional psychogenic neuroses. These types of neuroses result not from conflicts between drives and instincts, but rather, between existential problems. Among these problems, the frustration of the will to meaning plays a very large role.

Suffering, which is usually seen as a pathological phenomenon, may well be an achievement, especially if it grows out of existential frustration. A man’s concern, even despair, over the worth whileness of life is an “existential distress” but by no means a “mental disease”. The assignment of logotherapy is to assist the patient to find meaning in his life. Analysis tries to make the patient aware of what he actually longs for in the very depths of his being.

Logotherapy considers man a being whose main concern consists in fulfilling a meaning, rather than merely gratifying and satisfying drives and instincts.

 Noodynamics

Man’s search for meaning may well arouse inner tension – between what one has achieved and what one needs to accomplish, or between what one is and what one should become – but this tension is an indispensable prerequisite of mental health. There is nothing in the world that can help one quite like the knowledge that there is meaning in one’s life. Some may think that this means that a tensionless state is best. But this is not so. In the Nazi concentration camps, those who knew that there was a task waiting for them to fulfill were most apt to survive their hardships.

What is needed, then, is the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task! What a man needs, then, is noodynamics– the existential dynamics in a polar field of tension between two poles; one being the meaning that has to be fulfilled and the other, the man who needs to fulfill it.

The existential vacuum

This is a widespread phenomenon; neither instinct nor tradition can tell modern man what do to with himself these days, so many men nowadays do not know what they wish to do. Instead they simply conform to what others think is best (conformism), or do what other people wish them to do (totalitarianism). This vacuum usually manifests itself as a state of boredom. Especially given the high and further increasing rate of automation and ease in today’s society; many people now do not know what to do with all the time they are saving for themselves. However, it can also manifest as a will to power, money, or pleasure – base and primitive substitutes for a true purpose.

 Life, love and suffering

There exists no abstract meaning for life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission to carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Everyone’s task is unique – as is his opportunity to implement it. Life is finite and we are all responsible to do the best we can, as there is a finality regarding what we make out of both our lives and ourselves.

We can discover the meaning of life in three different ways.

1. The first is to create a work or do a deed, which requires no further explanation.
2. The second is to experience goodness, beauty, truth or another human being – and loving him or her.
3. The third is about our attitude towards unavoidable suffering.

Love is the only way we can grasp any other human being in the innermost core of his personality. By loving him we can see essential traits and features in him;

and even more, we see a potential in him that is not yet actualized. Thus we have a chance to help them make those potentialities come true.

The third way to discover the meaning of life is by virtue of the attitude we take towards unavoidable suffering. If we cannot do anything about such suffering – when we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves instead. By doing so, we change a personal tragedy into a triumph, which is the human condition at its utter best. And this means that our transitory existence is in no way meaningless.

Think and Grow Rich

The title says it all, It surely is – Napoleon Hill’s very successful book. His precepts to make major changes in your approach to life, the principles were gathered from the life experiences of more than 500 men and women who actually accumulated riches in huge amounts; who began in poverty, with little education or influence. You can put them to work for your own enduring benefit. It will pay off in enabling you to enjoy a life of harmony and understanding, as well as setting the stage for you to join the ranks of wealthy people.

He starts with The power of thought  – Truly ,’ Thoughts are things,’ powerful thing at that, when mixed with Purpose, Persistence and Burning desire. When you begin to think & grow rich , you will observe that riches begin with a state of mind, with  definiteness  of purpose. The most important one of these is Desire: knowing what one wants .
You are “the master of your fate,the captain of your soul” is because we have the power to control our thoughts.
Based on his relentless research, interviewing, shadowing, analysis, his book has 13 principles which lead to riches –

Principle 1: DESIRE – The starting point of all achievement.

Desire is not hope. It is not a wish. It is a keen pulsating desire, which transcends everything else. To succeed one has to chose a definite goal and place all it’s energy, all his willpower and all his effort to achieve that goal. If the thing you wish to do is right, and you believe in it, go ahead and do it! Put your dreams across,and never mind what ‘they’ say  if you meet with temporary defeat, for ‘they’ perhaps do not know that every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success.
Thomas Edition dreamed of a lamp that could be operated by electricity.Despite more than 10,000 failures,he stood by that dream until he made it a physical reality.practical dreamers do not quit!
Henry ford, poor and uneducated, dreamed of  a horseless carriage. He went to work with what tools he possessed, without waiting for an opportunity to favour him, and now evidence of his dream belts the entire earth.
Principle 2: FAITH – Visualizing and Believing in the attainment of Desire.

Faith is the ‘External Elixir’ which gives life, power and action to the impulse of thought! Faith is the basis of all ‘miracles’ and mysteries that cannot be analysed by the rules of science. When faith is blended with the vibration of thought, the subconscious mind instantly picks up the vibration ,translates it into its spiritual equivalent,and transmits it to finite intelligence.

Principle 3: Autosuggestion – The Medium for influencing the subconscious mind.

There are no limitations to the mind except those we acknowledge. Autosuggestion can also be called as self suggestion which in terms refer to communication between part of mind where conscious thoughts take place and that which serves as the seat of action for the subconscious mind. Man is master of his destiny for he can influence what he thinks – all sense impressions which are perceived through the five senses, are stopped by the CONSCIOUS thinking mind, and may be either passed on to the subconscious mind, or rejected, at will.

Principle 4: Specialized Knowledge – Personal Experience.

Knowledge will not attract money, unless it is organized, and intelligently directed, through practical plans of action, to the DEFINITE END of accumulation of money.

 

Principle 5: Imagination – The Workshop of Mind.

The imagination is literally the workshop wherein are fashioned all plans created by man. The impulse, the DESIRE, is given shape, form, and ACTION through

the aid of the imaginative faculty of the mind.

The imaginative faculty functions in two forms. One is known as Synthetic imagination, and the other as Creative imagination.

SYNTHETIC IMAGINATION: Arrange old concepts, ideas, or plans into new combinations. This faculty creates nothing. It merely works with the material of experience, education, and observation with which it is fed. It is the faculty used most by the inventor, with the exception of the who draws upon the creative imagination, when he cannot solve his problem through synthetic imagination.

CREATIVE IMAGINATION: Through the faculty of creative imagination, the finite mind of man has direct communication with Infinite Intelligence. It is the faculty through which “hunches” and “inspirations” are received. It is by this faculty that all basic, or new ideas are handed over to man.

Principle 6: Organized Planning – Crystallization of desire into action.

No individual has sufficient experience, education, native ability, and knowledge to insure the accumulation of a great fortune, without the cooperation of other people. Every plan you adopt, in your endeavor to accumulate wealth, should be the joint creation of yourself and every other member of your execution group.

Keep in mind these facts:

• First:  You are engaged in an undertaking of major importance to you. To be sure of success, you must have plans which are faultless.
• Second: You must have the advantage of the experience, education, native ability and imagination of other minds. This is in harmony with the methods followed by every person who has accumulated a great fortune.

Principle 7: Decision – The Mastery of Procrastination.

Procrastination, the opposite of DECISION, is a common enemy which practically every man must conquer.

One of Henry Ford’s most outstanding qualities is his habit of reaching decisions quickly and definitely, and changing them slowly.

Principle 8: Persistence – The sustained efforts necessary to induce Faith.

Persistence is an essential factor in the procedure of transmuting DESIRE into its monetary equivalent. The basis of persistence is the POWER OF WILL.

Will-power and desire, when properly combined, make an irresistible pair. The majority of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes overboard, and give up at the first sign of opposition or misfortune. A few carry on DESPITE all opposition, until they attain their goal. These few are the Fords, Carnegies, Rockefellers, and Edisons. There may be no heroic connotation to the word “persistence,” but the quality is to the character of man what carbon is to steel.

Principle 9: The Power of Master Mind – The Driving force.

POWER may be defined as “organized and intelligently directed KNOWLEDGE.” Power, as the term is here used, refers to ORGANIZED effort, sufficient to enable

an individual to transmute DESIRE into its monetary equivalent. ORGANIZED effort is produced through the coordination of effort of two or more people, who

work toward a DEFINITE end, in a spirit of harmony.

Principle 10: The Subconscious Mind – The connecting Link.

THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND consists of a field of consciousness, in which every impulse of thought that reaches the objective mind through any of the five senses,

is classified and recorded, and from which thoughts may be recalled or withdrawn as letters may be taken from a filing cabinet.

THE SEVEN MAJOR POSITIVE EMOTIONS

The emotion of DESIRE

The emotion of FAITH

The emotion of LOVE

The emotion of SEX

The emotion of ENTHUSIASM

The emotion of ROMANCE

The emotion of HOPE

THE SEVEN MAJOR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS (To be avoided)

The emotion of FEAR

The emotion of JEALOUSY

The emotion of HATRED

The emotion of REVENGE

The emotion of GREED

The emotion of SUPERSTITION

The emotion of ANGER

Principle 11: The Brain – A Broadcasting and Receiving Station for Thought.

Principle 12: The Sixth Sense.

This principle is the apex of the philosophy. It can be assimilated, understood, and applied ONLY by first mastering the other principles.

The SIXTH SENSE is that portion of the subconscious mind which has been referred to as the Creative Imagination. It has also been referred to as the “receiving

set” through which ideas, plans, and thoughts flash into the mind. The “flashes” are sometimes called “hunches” or “inspirations.”

 

Be yourself, Everybody else is taken already!

The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.― Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is very easy to forget who you are in this era where too much information is headed our way from every direction. It gets difficult to know what you have is worth so much, when the media is blaring in your face about what’s in and what’s out, telling you how to life your life. Life is becoming standardized, individuality is drowning, making us all into some sort of drones who must follow the latest of everything on the TV or you are failing at life. So you are forced to be a part of this rat race, which is only going to rob you of your entire life.

 

Life is transitory and so is everything in it. Life is not supposed to be lived by a standard set by someone else; it should be lived by your own standards. What makes you happy and what you enjoy doing, because ultimately you are running the rat race hoping to be happy one day far in the future, why not be happy right here, right now.

Start by appreciating yourself. No one is perfect, but you are the perfect YOU. Inquire deep into who you are, what you like. Write them down on a piece of paper. Try making a random list of things you like and dislike. This list will also acquaint you with the bits of you, you didn’t think existed before hence making you appreciate the person that you are and diverting focus more on the inside. Write down your dreams, but don’t forget to quell all outside influence, just you and what you really want. This can be an amazingly liberating exercise.

Goto www.laywi.com, this website has an option of creating diaries where you can create these lists, from anywhere and projects creation tools, to make plans for dreams. Since it’s online, you don’t have to make special time for it, everything can be done on the go.

Once you start appreciating yourself, you will start doing things that make you happy and feel worth your while. Start by taking up small projects that you can handle, it should help gain confidence in your chosen path.  For example if you have decided that you want to take up a course in English Literature, start with a month long course, instead committing to something substantial and feeling overwhelmed later. Set reminders everyday to remind you why you are doing this, and don’t hesitate to make the necessary adjustments as you go.

It important to stay focused on what you want. Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen. If you are waiting to go on that trip overseas, start saving now. Make it happen. If you are not happy with your job, talk to your boss.

Set priorities and don’t compromise on them. Don’t change your plan, because someone else might get offended. You alone can control how you feel, same goes for anyone else.

And it all comes down to what you want to believe, happiness is choice. It’s not something that happens. So chose to be happy and healthy. You can have the life that you want by deliberate planning and staying true to yourself.

Because you can’t block all the noise outside but you can control how you react to it and hence the process of appreciating who you are and what you have, will help you become confident and stop the process of external approval seeking. This process will help you live your life as you want.

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The Kaizen Way

Small things with great love…..
It is not how much we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
And it is not how much we give , but how much love we put into the giving.
To God there is nothing small.
– Mother Theresa

Kaizen a Japanese word, simply means “good change” but has developed philosophy overtime with its own definition and has been widely used in professional life but can also be applied to personal life. Good change is the idea behind kaizen, although most people are afraid of changes, planning it and adapting to change is the key to an ideal life!

Kaizen as philosophy is practice that focuses upon continuous improvement of processes. Process which has dictionary meaning of action, activity, exercise and relates to anything in personal life like better time management, better handling of relationship, finances, health and so forth.

Why Kaizen works?

All changes small or big, even positive ones are scary. Anything outside regular routine is challenged by brain as default as it leads to uncertainty. And attempts to reach goals through radical or revolutionary means often fail because they heighten fear. But small steps of kaizen disarm the brains fear response, stimulating rational thought and creative play.

So Kaizen recommends small steps which does not trigger fear or stress (fight or flight response) and also regularly repeating the step(s) or incremental action so as to habitualize the same.

Step 1: One small step

The kaizen approach is a highly effective method of building new neural connections in the brain.
The steps are so small I couldn’t fail!”
A vast majority of us want to improve their health,relationships or careers

• Asking small questions to dispel fear & inspire creativity
• Thinking small thoughts to develop new skills &habits
• Taking actions that guarantee success
• Solving small problems even when you’re faced with an overwhelming crisis
• Bestowing small rewards to yourself or others to produce the best results
• Recognizing the small but crucial moments that everyone ignores

Step 2: Ask Small Questions

Small questions create mental environment that welcomes unabashed creativity and playfulness. By asking small questions of yourself ,you lay the groundwork for a personalized kaizen program for change

• What shapes our lives are the questions we ask, refuse to ask or never think to ask.
• Your brain loves questions so build the kaizen habit of asking yourself small (and positive) questions
• A question wakes your brain and delights it.

For instance
If health were my first priority  – what would I be doing differently today?
How could I incorporate a few more minutes of exercise into my daily routine.
You will be surprised that you once had no time & how brain starts to come up with creative ways to incorporate good habit to your routine.
What could I do five minutes a day to reduce my credit card debt?

Make your question small & reduce the chances of waking the Amygdale (part of brain responsible for fight and flight response) & arousing. Such actions are debilitating fear (when fear is quiet) ,the brain can take in the questions and then pop out the answers on its own timetable.

Step 3: Think Small Thoughts

The technique of mind sculpture uses “small thoughts” to help you develop new social mental,and even physical skills- just by imagining yourself performing them! Take small actions as success in these small things is so rewarding to boost your self esteem that it gives you courage to seek what you like to achieve.

Small actions are at the heart  of kaizen. No matter how much you prepare or practise small questions & small thoughts, eventually you must enter the arena of action. By taking steps so tiny that they seem trivial or even laughable, you”ll sail calmly past obstacles that have defeated you before. Slowly – but painlessly !- you’ll cultivate an appetite for continued success and lay down a permanent new route to change.

Step 4: Solve Small Problems

We are so accustomed to living with minor annoyances that it’s not always easy to identify them, let alone make corrections. But these annoyances have a way of acquiring mass and eventually blocking your path to change. By training yourself to spot and solve small problems,you can avoid much more painful remedies later.
Kaizen technique is learning to spot small problems. For instance

• Recall a major mistake you’ve made at some point in your life.
• Analyze by asking small questions ..what measures would you take to correct that problem.
• Identify one small mistake you have made today,without becoming angry with yourself.thus single act ,especially if you perform daily ,will raise your awareness .
• Now ask yourself whether the small mistake you identify in exercise 2 reflects a larger problem.

By paying attention to this mistake ,you will reduce its frequency . If you feel this mistake indicate a more significant problem in your life, ask yourself : what kaizen step can I take to correct the situation?

Step 5: Bestow small rewards

Whether you wish to train yourself or others to instilled better habits, small rewards are the perfect encouragement, they stimulate the internal motivation required for lasting change.

• Think hard before deciding on small reward.you want the reward to have three qualities.
• The reward should be appropriate to the goal.
• The reward should be appropriate to the person.
• The reward should be free or inexpensive.

Step 6: Identify small moments

The kaizen approach to life requires a slower pace and an appreciation of small moments. This pleasant technique can lead to creative breakthroughs & strengthened relationships,and give you a daily boost toward excellence.

A philosopher, scientist or artist sits alone in garret agonizing , until –  Eureka!-divine inspiration strikes. Small moments that may seem ordinary or even tiresome, but actually hold the seeds of important change. Paying attention to small moments may sound easy, but it takes respect, imagination, and curiosity. When you’re implementing a plan for change but find yourself bored, restless, and stuck, look around for hidden moments of delight.

People who are most successful at improving their health habits are those who can transform exercise or eating well into a source of excitement and pride.

Similarly creating small moments in a relationship Like train yourself to focus on small, positive aspects of your partner. Instead of focusing on big flaws or waiting for a horse drawn carriage ride or trip to Paris, appreciate him or her for small gestures, a pleasing tone or a kind touch.

The kaizen way – One small step – but start today& build it up everyday.

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides a holistic, integrated approach towards personal and interpersonal effectiveness. Habits are patterns of behavior that involve three overlapping components: knowledge, desire, and skill. Because these three components are learned rather than inherited, our habits are our second nature, not our first. Thus, we are not our current habits. We can make or break our habits.

—Before we can really understand the 7 Habits of highly effective people, we need to understand our own paradigms and how to make a Paradigm Shift. The word paradigm was originally a scientific term, and is more commonly used today to mean a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of reference.

—A simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps. Assume you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. But suppose you were given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled Chicago was actually a map of Detroit. Can you imagine the frustration and ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?

—The more we are aware of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experiences, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, change them if necessary, and listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.

—It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant quantum changes, we need to work on our basic paradigms – the way we view ourselves and the world around us.

Habit 1 – BE PROACTIVE:

Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can’t keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents. Proactive people recognize that they are “response-able.” They don’t blame genetics, circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people,  on the other hand, are often affected by their physical environment. They find external sources to blame for their behavior. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and performance, and they blame the weather. All of these external forces act as stimuli that we respond to. Between the stimulus and the response is your greatest power–you have the freedom to choose your response. one of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language–I can’t, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do–they have no choice.

I have the ability to choose my own response. I carry my own weather – whether it rains or shines makes no difference to me. By grounding my emotional life not on the moods or weaknesses of others, but upon my self-chosen values, my behavior is a product of my own conscious choices based on principles, rather than a product of my conditions, based on feelings. Focus time and energy on things I can control (circle of influence) in lieu of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which I have little or no control (circle of concern). In so doing, I become RESPONSE-ABLE.

• I am responsible for my choices and have the freedom to choose.
• I am responsible of my behavior and the choices I make.
• I can expand my personal freedom and influence through being response-able.
• Recognize reactive triggers, increase my circle of influence, become a transition person and exercise the four human endowments

Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas–Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern–things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.

Habit 2 – BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND: The Habit Of Personal Leadership.

Habit 2 is based on imagination–the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It’s about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill it. Begin with the End in Mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

Without VISION, one diminishes. If I fail to develop my own SELF-AWARENESS and become responsible for first creations, I empower other people and circumstances to shape my life by default. Lead a life centered on the principles of QUALITY, patience, authenticity, WONDER, mindfulness, self-knowledge

• Mental creation precedes physical creation.
• I can choose my future and create a vision of it.
• I will create results mentally before beginning any activity.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life if to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.

Habit 3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST: The Habit Of Personal Management.

The key is to schedule my priorities, not to prioritize my schedule. Therefore, do the important things first – because where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going. SAY NO TO THE UNIMPORTANT, Remember that frustration is a function of our expectations, not our realizations. So trade crises for progress by focusing on things that are truly important. When I put first things first, I don’t just do things differently – I do DIFFERENT THINGS.

• Effectiveness requires balancing important relationships, roles, and activities.
• Things, which matter most, should never be at the mercy of things, which matter least.
• Focus on Quadrant II and plan weekly; implement daily, based on my mission.

Habit 1 says, “You’re in charge. You’re the creator.” Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that’s not all it’s about. Habit 3 is about life management as well–your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are “first things?” First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.

Habit 4. THINK WIN-WIN: The Habit Of Interpersonal Leadership, Relationships start here.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing–that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it’s not fair, and I’m going to make sure you don’t get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-Win is a belief in the Third Alternative springing from an abundance mentality. It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way; a higher way. Character is the foundation of win-win, which is comprised of integrity, ABUNDANCE mentality, and maturity. Win- Win is the attitude of seeking either mutual benefit or being able to say no deal. Life is best lived cooperatively, not competitively. Everyone I meet is my mirror, thus it is easier to be caring than hostile. My friends are all around me; I just haven’t met them all yet. Difficult people can be my greatest teachers for what I need most at that moment.

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be emphatic  but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that–to achieve that balance between courage and consideration–is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1.Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments

2.Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others

3.Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Habit 5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD:  The Habit Of Communication, Relationships succeed here.

Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. but what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

If you’re like most people, you probably seek first to be understood; you want to get your point across. And in doing so, you may ignore the other person completely, pretend that you’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. You listen to yourself as you prepare in your mind what you are going to say, the questions you are going to ask, etc. You filter everything you hear through your life experiences, your frame of reference. You check what you hear against your autobiography and see how it measures up. And consequently, you decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. Do any of the following sound familiar?

To fully, deeply understand another person is to listen with the eyes and the heart, which inspires openness and trust. Empathetic listening within the other’s frame of reference opens me to be influenced. The paradox is that in order to have influence, I must first be influenced. HUMBLE myself by acknowledging that I can be unenthusiastic, impulsive, undisciplined, pessimistic, and an impatient listener. Then strive to transform those same weaknesses into strengths. Always be loyal to the absent – always. Like food, less talk is actually more.

• Diagnosis must precede prescription, and understanding comes through listening.
• Assume I don’t fully understand and by listening first, I’ll be better understood.
• Use empathetic listening… from the other’s frame of reference.

Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:

Evaluating: You judge and then either agree or disagree.

Probing: You ask questions from your own frame of reference.

Advising: You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.

Interpreting: You analyze others’ motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.

Habit 6. SYNERGIZE: The Habit Of Creative Cooperation/Teamwork. Relationships flourish here.

So put it simply, synergy means, “Two heads are better than one.” Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. It’s a process, and through that process, people bring all their personal experience and expertise to the table. Together, they can produce far better results that they could individually. Synergy lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty–you name it.

Synergy is the culmination of all the previous habits. Synergy uses differences to build unforeseen strengths. Left to our own experiences, we constantly suffer from insufficient data. Compromise, which seeks only an end, is 1+1=1½, whereas synergy, which seeks a new beginning, makes 1+1=3, 4, or more. This is done by realizing that people see the world not as it is, but as they are [conditioned to see it]. Be sensitive to others’ mental maps (paradigms), which have been constructed to this point in their life with their own experiences.

Use empathetic listening, from the other’s frame of reference.

• The whole is more than the sum of its parts.
• I value the differences in others and seek the Third Alternative (a cooperative solution reached in a win-win spirit that all parties feel good about).
• Working together cooperatively takes time but produces better long-term results.
• Use the synergy ground rules (win-win mentality; open mind; value differences) and apply habits 4

When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they’re open to each other’s influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new approaches is increased exponentially because of differences.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity; sameness for oneness. One word–boring! Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.

Habit 7. SHARPEN THE SAW: The Habit Of Self-Renewal.

Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have–you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:

• Physical: Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting
• Social/Emotional: Making social and meaningful connections with others
• Mental: Learning, reading, writing, and teaching
• Spiritual: Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through mediation, music, art, prayer, or service

Success has two sides: production capability (PC), and production (P). Without the renewal of PC, P begins to diminish, and eventually perishes. RECOGNIZE my strengths daily, reaching for new ones. REMEMBER what is important in life is learning, health, purpose, conformity to my own uniqueness, temperance, and inner peace. Learning will always return meaning and energy to my effort, so I’m never alone with a great book. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

Production (results) requires the development of Production Capability (resources).  I will continuously improve and renew in the four dimensions of life.  Set and achieve goals for personal P/PC balance.

Write to right!

The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember”. – Everyone, Everywhere.

Communication through written down symbols is unique to human beings only, Cave men drew pictures on the wall to record their experiences, or carved statues to revere their Gods. The Egyptian Hieroglyphics are more popular example of early communication through written symbols among humans.  Then came the alphabets, later scripts and further advanced into languages when these alphabets were allotted unique sound each. Verbal communication may have become the primary way of communicating for the modern man but written down language is more long lasting and certainly is more valid.

Why Write?

You may have noticed that we seem to remember things more effectively when we have written them down. Have you ever wondered why does it happen? One of the reasons why written down word stays with us longer is because, when we write something down, our mind makes a reference in our brain to make sensible sentence. That’s the way our brain stored information, by creating a hook for any piece of information stored. When we are writing things down, unless narrated, we think and write, and hence written down words stay with us longer. Taking in information and deliberately retaining it by memorizing or writing it down also strengthens our brain muscles, just like what exercising does for your body. So if you are planning a change in your life, there is a better chance of you making it on the other side if you make a plan, write down why, how and whens of it, so you retain and stay motivated to achieve your goal.

Get things done!

The most common benefit of writing down or storing information is the fact that you don’t have to worry about forgetting anything ever. To-Do list, Diary keeping, Reminders, Post its, Calendars etc are all examples of inventions we created to record information for future use. Writing something down also shows you are serious about achieving a task. www.laywi.com provides with all these feature under one login. And it has advanced features like setting a reminder to a particular item on the To-Do list. And its pops up on your personalized dashboard as soon as you login.

Accountability

Writing down also increases accountability. For an instance, if you are keeping accounts, you will know exactly where you spend and how much, and the next time when you are about to repeat the pattern, you would automatically be able to see your follies and curb the habit. You can keep a calorie diary or an Achievement diary of your daily or weekly goals met or anything you want. Go to www.laywi.com for an elaborate project management tool which lets you manage a plan with project diaries, To-Do lists and evaluation tools. It also has financial profiling options, where you can calculate and record your net worth for any stretch of time.

Unknotting the nots!

Writing down also helps one think clearly. Say for example, you want to plan something, use www.laywi.com project management tool, which lets you think and record why would you like to undertake this project, what objectives you plan to achieve,  how will you evaluate yourself,  time frame to achieve it or whether you are undertaking it right away or in the near future. With all the details sorted in your mind, you are more likely go ahead and see through the plan!

Or we all know the benefit of writing our feeling down in diary. Relieving your mind of all the load of information is also very beneficial; it helps you see through loop in the thinking pattern that you have been missing thus far. Unknotting you can-‘nots’ into can dos.

www.laywi.com is one website that serves all points mentioned in this blog. It’s a project management website with Self profiling; Visioning, SWOTing, Diarizing, making To-Do Lists and Checklists etc., and not only this it has an option to schedule, time an item or a project.

Read more blogs on https://laywi4us.wordpress.com/ for more information!

Life as you want it is just a click away.

Your being, A confident one!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

These words by Eleanor Roosevelt, nothing could be truer than them.  What is inferiority? Feeling beneath someone socially, physically or financially? But who has set these standards anyway?  Is there a law that says you have to perfect? And what is perfect after all, it’s nothing but a bunch of standards set by someone and blindly followed by everyone else.

If you are the kind, who got stuck in someone else’s mold of perfection and can’t get out, keep reading. Learn to be confident in your own skin, start today, and start with a plan.

     Start by writing down who you are. Put all your traits down on a paper or a web tool. This process is just like outlining a painting on a canvas before you paint.  It’s like self profiling. It helps you identify your limitation and embrace your gifts. And once you know who you are in every aspect of your life, the acceptance that comes through the process helps become more confident.

    Second step is to identify your weakness and strengths, in my last blog I had written about SWOT analysis. Do a SWOT on yourself and figure out what are your strengths and weaknesses to better strategize your life.   Remember acceptance is the most important part of the journey towards confidence, denial of your flaws will only hinder you journey. And once you have identifies the traits that you lack, who can always learn them.  Easy way to do this is to go to www.laywi.com and do a SWOT analysis on yourself, and any weak trait that you have can be developed or enhanced through a self developed exercise. www.laywi.com also has project management tools for the same.

    Third step is to figure out your values! Values are important because they define what makes  us happy, help you define your own idea of success. A lot of time some people have a lot of money but it’s not there idea of happiness, they had just assumed it somehow. Values are: what makes you you? What special about you? What bring you the most happiness? Once you have gotten to know what is important to you and what you lack that reach your goal. You can accordingly plan. Use www.laywi.com to evaluate yourself on pre-defined values or create your own to evaluate yourself and set yourself up to develop it further with the help of www.laywi.com ‘ project management tool .

   Step four is think Success, did you know according to a scientific research, doing and imagining required the same motor and sensory programs in the brain? For example, shut your eyes and try to imagine writing your name, chance are you will be take the same amount of time, which you take to actually write your name. Coincidence? I think not. So practice positive thinking. More so Practice positive doing.  Doing bit by bit, will actually boost your mood and hence affect your confidence. Write down you visions and put your thoughts & ideas into a diary. It will go a long way into developing positive habits and keep you motivated. www.laywi.com has the most fantastic way to keep you on track as you planned. Use its project management tool, it comes with To-Do lists, diaries, gauge meters and a whole lot more. As soon as you log on, you have various reminders waiting to tell you, you have so much to achieve. Start today, do some positive doing.

Step four is to set yourself up for projects that make you uncomfortable. If you are wondering how it will help, it will help overcome your fears. Once you undertake a project that scares the hell out of you, you will gain strength in the area, not only that but you will have another battle won under your belt. So create a list of doing something new each day or week, or whatever suits you.

www.laywi.com is one such website which was designed to help one plan and live the most successful life possible. It helps you manage your life with a plan.

It’s free and backed by empirical data, so sign up and sign into a life as you want it!

Respons… i… bility

We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.  – Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

We keep hearing everyone talk about ‘taking responsibility’ for your own life and circumstance, but no one ever explains, how is that done? What does it mean? Does it mean that one should shout from the rooftops that own their mistakes, their hurt, and their circumstances? Or does it mean taking obsessive control of everything in your life. It all very confusing, but let’s try to understand through the next paragraph.

Sometimes, you might notice that you have been putting on weight; the first reaction is to think back why? Then you might release maybe because there have been too many birthday parties lately, or you’ve binged due to stress from that big meeting this week. And from now onwards you will keep reactions to such events under check. What you have done here, is zeroed in on the stimuli that caused you to over eat and hence gain weight. And more than anything you have taken responsibility for your actions. An ignorant person might react differently; they might blame their genes, their stars, accuse people of conspiring to get them chubby etc.

Responsibility comes from the word response; response is to react to a stimulus.  You can only own responsibility once you have figured out what made you react that way (Stimulus). If you don’t understand it, you will end up straying and pin on anything that suits your fancy. This is disowning responsibility.

Owning responsibility puts you in charge of your wellbeing. Being mindful of day to day activities can benefit our happiness in so many ways. It cuts down stress and worries, because you know where the iron is hot and when to hit. We at LAYWi, always emphasis, that a little way towards planning will go a long way towards a richer life.

Take some time out to record details about your fiancés, health; create a personal profile or professional profile or both. Once you face your present, a lot of sense starts emerging out of it. You know where you stand, and in case it is unpleasant, with a little honesty you will release why? That’s where your ownership begins.

And it’s easier said than done, but with the help of www.laywi.com, it’s made quite easy.

Laywi.com has four different tabs for Personal Profiling: Personal; Professional; Well Being and Wealth. It is very very detailed, for instance Well Being alone has four segmentations, physical, mental, spiritual and relationships. And the sub segments are furthered into brilliant pre-planned drop downs, where you can select the subject of entry.

The Wealth tab preprogrammed financial sheet, where all you have to do is enter monetary values and it does automatic calculation of your net worth.

There are many different useful and highly functional feature to it, check them out and decide where you want to start.

It’s amazing because not only the website free and tightly secured, but the vision behind it is to help people live life as they want it. It aims at helping people live their best selves out. No other website does anything with such zeal for details.

Just by Self profiling alone, a person will able to gauge their lives well enough, to locate responsibility lies.  And not only have we talked about taking responsibility, we talked about how to do it as well.

If you are the kinds, who are already empowered by the ebb of mindfulness inside them, you can use www.laywi.com to further enhance and discover newer aspects of yourself. Start your journey into an even more inspired life. Or if you are a person looking for a bit of direction and help, you are in the right place, just open your mind and laptop and tap away to a newer, more you sort of life. And since it’s a online, it’s accessible from anywhere you go and private and very secure.

Ready… Aim… Fire!

Mr. Wonka: Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted.
Charlie Bucket: What happened?
Mr. Wonka: He lived happily ever after. – Roald Dahl

Ever wonder how life would be if everything you ever wanted got done and within time. We all hope and wish that somehow that would actually happen, even if not all of them, at least half of our ideas and aspirations see day light.

And one always wonder at people who get things done their way and have unlimited resources of motivation and energy, “How do they do it”, “Oh, they must be a special kind” or “They are just lucky”. But the fact is anyone can become that person. Anyone. It begins with a small step of inculcating the habit of organizing you day to get maximum out of it. De-cluttering and prioritizing.

Research has shown that successful people meticulously set goals and plans to achieve these goals.  We are all brilliant planners, it naturally comes to us, we are always anticipating the next moment, hour, day, meeting, almost everything. But it’s the keeping up with those plans that let us down.

Because it is so difficult to follow through, after we are relieved from daily jobs or chores, most of us are so tired, that we resign everything to an imaginary later time in our lives.

But one must start. So start today.

Start by Taking Stock of the situation, what bothering you the most at the moment, Prioritize your tasks and make a list of things to complete. Now its very important to have you priorities and task to be written down, otherwise there is a huge chance you will lose focus as well as motivation.

In today hyper connected world, there are very savvy options available to organize your life on the go. One such tool is www.layw.com. The website gives you the convenience to use tools like to do lists ; Project management ; SWOT analysis ; Diaries ; Calendars etc to keep organized on every moment of your life.

After you done organizing a list and making sure you are using tools and methods that will not fail you or get lost in anyway.

Second step is to build discipline, make sure you follow through with the list as much as you can at first. Don’t slack, because first few days of following through are crucial.

The most important aspect of turning your life 180, is gauging your success on the projects you have undertaken. It might be a bit complicated, but using the right tools, it’s as easy as daydreaming. Use www.Laywi.com, project management tool to set up a project, define timeline, describe objectives, keep project diary, set reminders, have a to-do list associated with the project. Define sub tasks. Anything you like. When you have pre-defined system doing so much, there can be no excuses.

And it is but natural that you will have multiple projects running on well-being; professional life; spiritual journey or enhancing your value system etc and have different diaries and to-do lists for each of them, all the work of navigating through an app might seem like a lot of work but www.laywi.com has a special feature called dashboard, it shows you all the diaries that you keep; it has a day; week; month calendar and the most exciting feature are success meters, it shows how much improvement has happened since you last updated your evaluation of the various aspects of your life. (Pssst: it also lets you create self styled parameters to gauge your success along with built in parameters).

It is like your go to page, any goal that you might have set for yourself to achieve, it shows on the dashboard and is a constant reminder of life as you want it!

Mind Over Matter!

“Unless you know where you are going then you will not know how to get there.” – Stephen Richards

Sight is the noisiest of all the senses. Sight adds objectivity to the world around us. To see is to manifest our thoughts and ideas in the real world. Even when we hear something in the distance, we visualize where the sound is coming from to make sense of it, or while reading a book, you create images inside your head to comprehend the happenings in the book. Even people born with vision defects have the power of imagination. This is the power of vision, of visualization.

Vision is where the creation of all possibilities starts. Creative Visualization is a technique where one visualizes the ideal outcomes and accepts them as the truth and leads on to achieve their goals. For example, a person has to imagine how it feels to get good grades, to realize how good it would feel to have good grades, which would in turn would motivate them to achieve set goal to achieve good grades. But this is a reward based example. Here motivation comes from the desire of getting a reward at the end of a process. One can use visualization for so much more than just a reward.

In sports psychology, the technique of visualizing the win is widely popular. Imaging the win, floods an athlete’s body with adrenalin enhancing the performance.  Visualization removes distractions; because the focus and the energy is now pinned on the thoughts of winning and nothing else.

Visualization can work for anyone and anywhere. To try a bit of it find a quite place, with minimum distractions, close your eyes, and meditate on a happy memory from your past. Think of the place, setting, people, actions, recreate the whole memory. Feel it happening. When done, open your eyes, feel how refreshed and happy you are. That’s the power of thoughts. If recalling a past memory can bring back the same happiness then why not imagining the future bring the same too?

Create a vivid image of your future. For instance you want that lean body, which you have been trying to achieve for a million years but are always tired after work to hit the gym. On your back from work, imagine how good you would look and how great you would feel once you have attained your ideal body. After you have started to feel inspired, take action, write down your goals and its objectives. Break the goal into achievable bits. Start small, build momentum . Remember, its mind over matter.

In my last blog I had discussed the importance of penning down things. Penning down thoughts can actually have a concretizing effect on our resolve. So start today, decide on an area in your life which you want to improve and visualize how you would ideally like it to be. After you know what you want, break this vision down into small objectives/goals. Decide on a process to achieve these objectives. Visualize it all in your mind and put it down somewhere. And the great part about this is, as you follow this process, you will gain deeper insight into what you want and clarity on what makes you happy. Alter and tweak the process; objectives anytime you feel like.

Goto www.laywi.com, to get access to a whole section on creating Vision, the site even assists with recording mission and objectives under visions. You can even designate time period to your vision, missions and objectives to be achieved within.

It categorizes visions under different areas like Relationship, Well-being, Wealth, Professional and Personal development. You can go ahead then create projects to execute, monitor and achieve your vision. Of course its simpler said then done but then as Socrates said “the life which is unexamined is not worth living“.(Site  http://www.laywi.com) Importantly it’s online, so you access it from anywhere, its very secured and its free!